Why I had to meet man who raped me

A WOMAN who was brutally raped at knife-point in a Tunbridge Wells car park has told how she came face-to-face with the sex fiend who tore apart her life.

What happened to Claire, whose surname the Courier has agreed to withhold, was so vile that the judge who jailed Stephen Allen Gale indefinitely said it was hard to see a time when he would not be a danger to women.

Homeless Gale followed his victim off a 9.30pm train in Tunbridge Wells and closed in on her as she entered Torrington car park.

He held a knife to her stomach and threatened to kill her if she didn't do as he said.

In the dingy stairwell evil Gale subjected the mother-of-three, from Tunbridge Wells, to a sustained and degrading sex attack.

In court the full horror of Gale's criminal history was exposed – he had a history of random attacks against women in car parks, with violent sex offences dating back to 1988.

Health professional Claire, who is in her 40s, bravely told how the callous actions of Gale devastated her life. She also explained how, in an effort to move on, she took the courageous step of meeting her assailant in prison.

She said: "I had flashbacks, was unable to sleep and even walking down the high street I felt extremely threatened.

"It was a 'siege' mentality and I was completely worn out. There was a lot of anxiety and fear after the crime. I am still not sure how I was able to function day-by-day.

"I didn't realise how traumatised I actually was as I was so focused on putting the offender back in prison.

"I began abusing alcohol and got myself into a lot of debt. I couldn't function properly as I was still struggling to deal with a number of issues. As a result of all this, my marriage broke down and I felt unable to continue in my profession and finally lost my job."

As Claire's life spiralled out of control, she was left "carrying a lot of anger around".

She said: "It felt as if the help stopped on the court steps and I felt suddenly abandoned. I needed support but I wasn't in a fit state to access care.

"There was no-one who I could turn to and talk about the crime, without causing more upset. Rape is still a relatively taboo subject and a very stigmatising crime and not something you necessarily want to discuss with your friends and loved ones to spare them distress."

Kent Police officers encouraged her to see her GP. Although the charity Victim Support was operating in Tunbridge Wells, she felt there were no readily accessible rape crisis services in the area and there was a "huge lack" nationally of mental health services.

She said this added to the "overwhelming sense of isolation" and a delay in the diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Claire was contacted by Kent Probation's victim liaison team and during an initial meeting with the officer said she felt she needed to communicate with Gale and address some "unresolved issues".

She said: "I needed to know why this had happened to me. Was there any reason that made him pick on me? Why was he at the car park? Did he intend to use the knife that he had with him during the offence? Was the crime worth it and, more importantly, whether I and others would be safe if he was ever released from prison.

"I didn't want another person to experience what I had. These questions were those that only he could answer.

"I wanted the offender to see me as a real person whom he had harmed and not as a crime statistic or a case number."

After consideration, the officer referred Claire to Kent Probation's partner, West Kent Mediation Service.

After a lot of liaison and preparation to ensure the process would be beneficial for both victim and offender, Claire met Gale face-to-face in prison.

Claire said: "Talking to the offender made me realise he was small and insignificant, with problems of his own.

"This helped me to readdress some of the balance of power he took away when he raped me. When you are a victim of crime you feel as if somehow it is very personalised, but in fact this crime was opportunistic and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Did seeing and talking to Gale help Claire find closure? She said it didn't.

"But (it) provided a great deal of support and stopped me channelling my anger into total destructiveness.

"I could continue my life in a different way and try and focus on my three children.

"It is not the end of my journey but mediation certainly started the process of a positive change in my thought patterns. With a death there is a body so you can begin the grieving process. With rape, the emotional pain is not visible but it never leaves you and the grieving process is hidden."

Talking of the mediation process, she said it gave her a voice and "allowed me to be heard".

She said: "I believe the process is very important in a person's recovery.

"What people need to understand is that a victim will be catapulted into trying to understand the police, probation and other criminal justice agencies, all of which they probably have had little experience of before.

"Mediation gives victims a far greater voice in the criminal justice system and since crime is a complex issue it makes sense to make victims part of the process."

Kent Police's Detective Chief Inspector Adrian Futers said: "A stranger attack like this incident is extremely rare. West Kent remains one of the safest places in the country."