"IF you were being followed down an alley and you felt threatened and wanted to attract people's attention, what would you shout?" martial arts expert Grant Hicks asks a roomful of women.

"I would shout 'fire'," comes the reply from one audience member while others look confused.

But Mr Hicks confirms this is the right answer.

"If you shout 'rape' or 'help' people don't come."

This is a sobering introduction to a lesson on how to keep safe as a female driver.

By the end of it we should be able to change a tyre, fend off attackers in car parks and remain calm and composed as somebody cuts us up at a roundabout.

Along with 40 other women aged from about 20 to 60, I am attending the Women In Gear event at Invicta Motors in Tunbridge Wells.

Mr Hicks demonstrates techniques to arm us against any potential attacks, such as moves to release yourself from somebody else's tight grip or a headlock.

We learn where people's pressure points are and are given helpful advice including that you should sit in the passenger seat if you break down at the side of the road.

"That way people think the man has gone to get help and will be back soon," said Mr Hicks.

The course also attempts to tackle road rage, which one in three motorists say they have felt physically threatened by and half admit to shouting, swearing and making rude gestures in the car.

Human behaviour expert Vic Botterill, a former chief inspector who specialised in interrogation, talks to us about managing road rage – our own and other people's.

It is no wonder some women see red, according to Mr Botterill, who says they are often given a hard time on the road.

"If you are at traffic lights which turn green and you are a woman in an ordinary car, you get beeped straight away.

"If you are a man you get an extra second, and if you are in a nice car, even longer."

Top of the list of behaviour likely to get drivers blood boiling is "lane blocking" and "tail-gating".

Mr Botterill advises us to be "defensive drivers" who resist the urge to "teach other motorists".

We learn that defensive drivers don't flash their lights when they feel the person in front is not going fast enough and they let drivers in to keep traffic moving.

Similarly, when we are the victim of somebody else's frustration in the outside lane, Mr Botterill tells us the defensive driver puts on their indicator "to let them know we are aware they are there and we will be changing lanes as soon as it is safe to do so".

Mouthing "sorry" when we make a mistake and looking at people between the eyes rather than directly at them are also good ways of avoiding conflict.

This all sounds quite pathetic until one audience member tells us she was in a car with her boyfriend when he had a knife held against his face after beeping another driver.

Mr Botterill said: "If it's gone beyond a minor incident and you're dealing with a violent man, keep your distance – invading his personal space isn't going to make the situation better.

"Speak calmly and never, ever, smile."

Afterwards I get chatting to Tonbridge and Malling borough councillor Liz Simpson, 55, who says she has "learnt a lot".

"I do drive a lot on my own and sometimes at night after meetings, so I'm going to remember the tips about getting into your car a certain way so you don't make yourself vulnerable and watching out for things happening around you," she said.

With the night's advice fresh in my mind I am calm and courteous as I drive home.

And I resolve to try and remember what I have learnt the next time I am sitting in snarled-up traffic on North Farm Retail Park.